


The Great Case Drought of 221B

by torchwood221b



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Case Fic, Gen, M/M, or more accurately lack of a case fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 04:50:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3277385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torchwood221b/pseuds/torchwood221b
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock chronicles his lack of a case.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Great Case Drought of 221B

Day 1 - Lestrade has not contacted me about a case, I am not concerned as John and I just solved a case yesterday.

Day 2 - Lestrade is in court so no cases will be coming from him today. John and I have not had any client walk ins all morning. Boredom is beginning to creep up on me.

Day 3 - Lestrade’s testimony is taking longer than anticipated. He remains in court. I remain case-less.

Day 4 - Texted DI Dimmock to see if he had a case for me. No luck despite an abundance of corpses in Bart’s morgue.

Day 5 - John has completed his latest blog post. Spent better part of the morning editing it for grammatical errors. There were seven fewer than last time I suspect John has given the post more than his usual once over.

Day 6 - Dimmock and Lestrade were not called in last night, it appears that I will remain without a case for the entirety of the weekend.

Day 7 - My lack of case continues as predicted.

Day 8 - John said he was going to run some unspecified errands however I suspect he has secretly gone to see Mycroft about getting me a case. Upon his return John denies having gone to see Mycroft.

Day 9 - Mycroft stops by the flat to gloat about how busy he is. He does not bring me a case.

Day 10 - I stop by Scotland Yard to see if Lestrade or Dimmock have a case for me. When they do not I even try knocking on Gregson’s door to see if he has something, he doesn’t.

Day 11 - I send John to Mycroft’s office to see if he has a case for me, even if it’s a boring one (he’ll thank me later). John comes back empty handed.

Day 12 - All this free time means that I have completed all the experiments I was working on. Molly cannot provide me any new body parts before next Monday at the earliest.

Day 13 - I hope Lestrade, Dimmock and Gregson are enjoying their weekends while I sit here dying from boredom.

Day 14 - John has taken away my violin. He claims that I’ve just been making noise for the past 36 hours rather than trying to compose a new piece.

Day 15 - John has returned my violin he says the noise is preferable to the constant drumming of my fingers. Molly texted saying the body that was donated to science and delivered today has already been earmarked for the medical students.

Day 16 - As a result of John humming various songs from Hair I have decided to conduct a mini experiment involving tie dye. I have sent John out to purchase me the necessary supplies. I still don’t have a case.

Day 17 - Accidentally tried to tie dye John’s brand new jumper, I am currently heading out to replace it. No new cases.

Day 18 - Mycroft comes by the flat but does not have a case for me. Lestrade, Dimmock and Gregson have also texted to tell me they don’t have cases for me either.

Day 19 - John has discovered that not only have I replaced the jumper I accidentally tie dyed I have purchased him two additional jumpers. He wore the light blue one and insisted on going to Angelo’s for lunch and dinner. Spending the day with John almost made me forget that I haven’t had a case in nineteen days.

Day 20 - Still no cases. Even John appears to be bored.

Day 21 - Lestrade came by today to see how I was holding up. He still doesn’t have a case for me. He and John have gone out for a pint.

Day 22 - I’m seriously considering asking Mycroft for a case.

Edit: John asked Mycroft for a case while out getting milk. Mycroft doesn’t have any cases for us. Apparently it is not a matter of getting us proper security clearance.

Day 23 - Dimmock came by the flat with pizza. He is having a boring week as well. He promises to call us in on a case as soon as one proves the least bit difficult.

Day 24 - Molly was able to get me a torso to experiment on. I have decided to try my hand at tattooing. John says I should learn to draw first. Considering my first attempt to draw a square with the tattoo gun looked more like a piece of Swiss cheese John may be correct in his assessment. Instead I will attempt to filet the skin off the torso in as few pieces as possible.

Day 25 - John is unwilling to commit murder just so I can have something to do. I wonder if Mycroft would be more amiable.

Day 26 - Mycroft was not more amiable, threatened to have me committed. Do not ask him to commit murder for your entertainment ever again.

Day 27 - Played both regular monopoly and electronic monopoly simultaneously. John quit after the fourth hour.

Day 28 - John has started asking me random questions to see if I have deleted the information. So far he has asked me thirty seven questions and I have known the answer to all but fourteen of them. In my own defense ten of those fourteen questions had to do with the solar system.

Day 29 - I’m finding it difficult to come to terms with the fact that for twenty nine days the police have managed to do their jobs successfully. John has taken on extra hours at the surgery to fill the endless hours of boredom.

Day 30 - I sent John to the yard to get all the cases Lestrade, Dimmock and Gregson solved over the past 29 days just to make sure they’d gotten them right. They had.

Day 31 - John let me smoke today. Just one cigarette, low tar. It wasn’t nearly as satisfying as a case would be.

Day 32 - Texted Moriarty to see if someone in his web was planning something in London. Received no response.

Day 33 - Mycroft told John I texted Moriarty. John made me sleep on the couch.

Day 34 - I tried to make John sleep on the couch for making me sleep on the couch. He messed up my sock index in protest. I really need a case.

Day 35 - Put on my best suit and went to Mycroft’s office to ask for a case, I even said please and refrained from calling him fat and asking about his diet. He didn’t have anything for me.

Day 36 - Had makeup sex with John. While this is good for our relationship a case would be better.

Day 37 - Lestrade called me at lunch time, he meant to call John. They went out for a pint after he was finished with court. I tagged along because I had nothing better to do. It was boring.

Day 38 - Cleaned the flat while John was at work. His clothes are much more organized now.

Day 39 - Spent the day putting John’s things back the way I found them.

Day 40 - John has started talking about taking a vacation that didn’t involve sitting around the flat. I suggested we go somewhere with lots of crime. John wants to go skiing.

Day 41 - I spent the day looking into ski resorts hoping to find one in an area with a high crime rate. John seemed receptive to the idea.

Day 42 - Booked a hotel and got lift tickets for a week long ski vacation in Aspen Colorado. Lestrade agreed to call the Aspen police department to inform them that I would be in town in the event that they had a case for me while I was there.

Day 43 - John and I spent the day getting what we need for our ski trip. We leave the day after tomorrow. Considering my present lack of cases I am actually looking forward to our trip.

Day 44 - Packed for Aspen. Stopped by the Yard to confirm that Lestrade had called to offer my services. Upon return from the Yard discovered John having a row with his suitcase and took it upon myself to pack it more effectively.

Day 45 - I am unsure why John thought we would be flying anything but first class. When we land in Aspen I check my texts to see that Mycroft has finally developed a sense of humor. He texted me to say he had a case a few minutes after we took off from Heathrow. A text from Anthea as we were landing confirmed that Mycroft was kidding.

Day 46 - The Aspen PD doesn’t have any cases for me at present. John and I spend the day skiing. I spend the ride to the top of the ski slopes trying to deduce the skill levels of the skiers.

Day 47 - No cases today but we were given a tour of the Aspen PD by a female detective whose son-in-law served with John in Afghanistan. We treated her and her family to dinner.

Day 48 - John dragged me dog-sledding this afternoon. It was more fun than I anticipated. Perhaps a puppy will help to prevent future boredom between cases, will discuss with John once back in London.

Day 49 - We got up early to be the first people on the slopes. I challenged John to a race down one of medium difficulty. John hit a patch of ice and nearly skied into a tree. Still no cases here or at home.

Day 50 - Gave John a watch I bought him yesterday afternoon while we were waiting for a table at a restaurant. He seems to like it.

Edit: He definitely liked it. I forgot all about inquiring after a case today.

Day 51 - Today is our last full day in Aspen. I slept in while John hit the slopes first thing in the morning but promised to join him for the afternoon and evening ski sessions. I think John may have bought me something while he was out despite returning empty handed.

Day 52 - Lestrade and Dimmock texted as we were getting on the plane. They both have cases for me. I believe I may have solved Dimmock’s case for him on the flight back to London. Lestrade said his case could wait until we landed so I merely glanced at it.

Edit: There was an artist being featured in one of the local Aspen galleries who paints wildlife - John has commissioned her to paint me a series of bees the paintings will be delivered to 221b when they are complete.

John says a puppy will have to wait until my next case drought as it will need to be housebroken. However a check of his browsing history indicates that he has started looking into reputable German Shepard breeders.


End file.
